Monday, 26 May 2014

What If ... God Lied

Well, in short nobody would know. It all comes down to faith. If you have it you believe that God could not lie. If you don't have it then you are open to the possibility that God is a liar.

But he doesn't lead you on with a nice story and then lie. No, God goes straight for the jugular and hits you with the big old lie that the earth, galaxies, everything was created in six days. Who can prove him wrong? Nobody. There was supposedly nobody around until God created them.

And the people he created, Adam and Eve, were trapped like prisoners in the Garden of Eden for at least 67 years. So they knew nothing more than the Garden of Eden. Everything beyond that might have existed or it might not have. They would never know until they got kicked out. And it is God kicking them out that gives the figure of 67 years. God tells Eve he will multiply her pain in childbirth. Now for something to be multiplied it must have been felt before. If Eve had never felt childbirth a multiplication of that pain would be nothing (simply - anything multiplied by zero is still zero).

Back to the 67 years. As Eve had given birth for the pain to be multiplied then she gave birth at least once. Her first birth was twins; Cain and Abel. Although the Bible itself does not give any dates of when people were born there are other sources. The Book Of Jubilees says that Adam was approximately 67 years old when Cain was born. Therefore, it would stand to reason that Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden for at least 67 years.

If Adam, Eve, Cain, and Abel know nothing about anything outside of the Garden of Eden then God had at least 67 years to create it.

While we are on the subject of Adam and Eve getting kicked out of the Garden of Eden is it not suspicious that God acted all surprised when he confronted them about eating the fruit? After all he is meant to be all-seeing and all-knowing but a single serpent gets by him to trick Adam and Eve. Surely if he was all-seeing and all-knowing he'd have seen the serpent and known what the serpent planned to do. So why didn't he stop the serpent? Because he wanted to show off the just-finished world to Adam and Eve and he had to have an excuse of why he had never shown it to them before.

Now to Noah. Noah was no explorer. Chances are that he knew nothing other than a few hundred miles around him. God says he is going to flood the whole world. How does Noah know this is true? He doesn't. Noah has never been more than a couple of hundred miles at most from the spot he was born in. It would be like telling a remote African tribe that America is made of cheeseburgers. They have never seen America, or even heard of it, so they would most likely accept it if you told them that. So God tells Noah he is flooding the whole world and Noah has to agree that God is going to. He cannot get on the Internet and check Google Maps to see if the rest of the world is really covered in water; or switch on a TV and see if Anderson Cooper is reporting from somewhere that is flooded. Chances are that Noah, like the remote African tribe, had never thought about there being anything other than what he knew. So if he had not seen it he couldn't say for sure that anything else existed; let alone flooded.

Noah sends out a dove, according to the Bible, to try and find land. The dove comes back without finding land. This does not mean the whole world was flooded. Doves usually only fly in daylight. Which if the Sun rose at 6AM and set at 8PM gives the dove a maximum of 7 hours flying away from the ark (and 7 hours for the return). According to Wikipedia the maximum speed of a dove is 55 miles per hour. This would give a maximum distance of 385 miles. But according to a couple of 'dove websites' the usual average is 150 miles before a dove needs to stop; which means the dove would have only gone 75 miles before turning around to get back to the ark. God only needs to flood a few hundred miles of land to trick Noah. And that is even to say he did that. He could have just flooded a 5 mile radius around the ark, and when Noah releases the dove God turns it around and pretends everything is still flooded.

The creation of mankind and the wiping out of the sinners could just be a lie. Nothing more than false propaganda. Great way to keep people in line. Do as I say or I'll flood the planet like I did before. Yeah, I know God said he wouldn't do it again. But if he lied about the creation and the flood can his word be trusted?

But if God started the Bible lying his ass off then how can anything in the Bible that involves God be considered true? The whole Bible could be one lie after another.

And who is to say that God is the only one to lie? He could have just started the ball rolling. Jesus never walked on water he fell in like the rest of us. But as Moses and God had got away with so many lies the apostles thought they could to. So while Jesus is toweling himself dry Matthew, Mark, and John are rewriting the actual events to look better than they really were.

But it continues further. Armageddon. Some fiery lake all the heathens get thrown in to. Maybe it was just a burning barrel but that wasn't dramatic enough. Throw in some trumpets, angels, and make the barrel a fiery lake.

From beginning to end the Bible could be the historical version of the National Enquirer. Take a small fact and make a headline-grabbing story out of it. And it is all God's fault for starting with a lie.

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