Sunday, 28 September 2014

If I Was God: Prayer Should Be Fair

Ever wonder why certain prayers get answered. You hear about a mother praying that her son beats leukaemia but he doesn't. Yet a man prays for a promotion at work and he gets it.

Now, suppose there is this omniscient, omnipresent, God that is hearing these prayers and granting certain prayers. What system is he using? How is he deciding what prayers get fulfilled and what prayers go unanswered? Maybe the most important question should be - Should one person, entity, or deity be making such decisions?

If I was your God I would relinquish the power. I would put prayers as a lottery so that everyone has the same chance of having a prayer answered.

Weekly drawings where prayers are selected completely at random and answered. Simple, effective, and everyone stands the same chance.

But so the system is not abused there would need to be a few rules:
  • No prayers for the death of another will be accepted.
  • No prayers for extortionate amounts of money will be accepted.
  • No prayers with a political bias will be accepted.
  • No prayers of a sexual nature will be accepted.
  • Being a Christian has no effect on the Prayer Lottery. It is open to all.
  • A person cannot win more than twice in any 4 week period.
That is pretty much it. Everything else is fair game in the Prayer Lottery.

The weekly drawing would be screened all around the world live; and it would go something like this:

Voice Over: Welcome to another week of the highest rated show in the world. Where your prayers are answered. Last week 6.8 Billion people tuned in. Without further ado here are your hosts Gabriel and Angela.
Gabriel: Thank you for tuning in and making Prayer Lottery the highest rated show on the planet.
Angela: In just a few moments we will start drawing prayers. For a full list of prayers answered which were not televised go to All terms and conditions can also be viewed there too.
Gabriel: Remember this is the only show where prayers are answered and dreams really do come true.
Angela: As usual the first five prayers will be televised. Then if you want to keep watching go to Satellite viewers can press the red button when indicated.
Gabriel: OK. It is time for the drawing. And to draw the first prayer this week is homosexual and news host Anderson Cooper.
Angela: We're not judging. That is God's job.
Gabriel: Anderson if you would like to draw the first prayer.
Anderson: Good luck everyone. Be lucky.
[Anderson picks the first prayer and hands it to Gabriel]
Gabriel: OK. The first winner this week is Michelle Johnson of South Carolina in the United States. She wanted a new water heater. Well now she has one.
Angela: That will really come in use.
Gabriel: Yes it will. She has three young children and with Winter just around the corner now is perfect timing.
Angela: Here is the second winner. Mike Jones of Perth in Australia. He wanted his father who is in hospital to get well. And now he is.
Gabriel: Aw. It is always nice when it is for someone else.
Angela: Proves that this cesspit of a planet hasn't lost all hope.
Gabriel: Angela!
Angela: Sorry.
Gabriel: The lucky third winner is Raji Choudry of New Delhi in India. He wanted a new home for his wife and six children. Congratulations to Raji.
Angela: Straight on to the fourth winner. And it is Jean Mueller of Berlin in Germany. She wanted a loving and caring dog to share her life with. A dog that would love her as much as she loves it.
Gabriel: She has a dog all of her own now.
Angela: I am sure they'll be very happy together.
Gabriel: And the final televised winner is Juan Gomez of Acapulco in Mexico. All he wants is some flour to make tortillas.
Angela: Nice and simple that one.
Gabriel: Remember you can keep watching online. Satellite viewers who want to continue watching online should press the red button now. And a list of all winners will be on the website.
Angela: So until next week it is goodbye.
Gabriel: And good luck.

Admittedly it is not the perfect system. But at least everyone has a chance, and most importantly that chance is completely random.

So get your prayers in before the drawing next week; and be lucky.

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