Wednesday, 24 September 2014

If I Was God: Smoke Weed - God Said So

This isn't so much creating or changing anything that God did wrong. This is merely enforcing a rule that was clearly laid out in the Bible.

"And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat." (Genesis 1:29, KJV)

I know it doesn't say smoke weed. But this is where your religious faith in God comes in. And with a little bit of thinking you have a religious ideal that supposedly most governments cannot mess with.

To start with we have to look at the bigger picture. It is the 6th day of creation. Was it really a day or was it a 1,000 years? There is some speculation that although it says a day in the text it may have been a lot longer. From that point alone we can see that the Bible, and in this case the book of Genesis, contains some items which may be symbolic rather than literal in their meaning. Carry on through the Bible and the symbolism is everywhere - for example get to the prophets and you'll see more symbolism than you'll ever need to see in your life.

But we have no need to work out any weird symbolism that may be interpreted a million different ways. We have a pure, clear, easy-to-understand, sentence:

"Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth,"

Every herb bearing seed? Marijuana is a herb and it grows from seed. And it was given by God. There you go it is religious to smoke weed, and most governments around the world have some form of law stating they won't create any laws which meddle with religion.

The other side (who we will call 'the heathens') may mention that it continues with: "... to you it shall be for meat." Not a problem. This is where the symbolism comes in. As it is clearly talking about vegetation it is not stating meat meaning meat. With that in mind the symbolism is that the herbs and trees are to be used for entering the body. Yes it may look, on the surface, that it is meant to enter via the mouth as food but symbolically it could be smoked to enter the brain via the mouth.

A very slim argument but nowhere does it mention about drying bay leaves out and using them for cooking but nobody created a law to stop that.

So, as your God I would never have allowed men to make a law stopping what I had commanded and everyone who wished to could smoke marijuana without any form of repercussion from an oppressive government. Even now I'm guessing you could fight this in the courts under the guise of 'human rights'.

Light up, puff puff, and pass on to your God loving friends. And if the police come knocking just tell them that is part of your religious beliefs and if they try and stop you that you will see them in court where you will win a lawsuit which will give you enough money to buy even more 'god-provided' marijuana.

Legal Note: This post has no real legal basis. If you are thinking of using the theories and ideas mentioned please seek advice from a legal professional who knows what they are on about.

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