Saturday, 26 November 2011

Hell: A Holiday Destination?

Last night I saw the beginning of the end; more commonly known as Armageddon. Well actually I only saw it in a dream. There was a small beam of light that came from the clouds and hit the ground. This happened in Jerusalem; and as the beam of light got wider and wider, radiating out further and further, it removed all the people who were destined not to experience Heaven. Long story short - I went to Hell after seeing many lying reporters taken first.

And this is where the dream gets weird. It turns out Hell is not as bad as it is made out; at least not in my experience.

The worse bit about Hell was the wait to get in. Which thinking about it afterwards isn't no big problem considering you are there for eternity. So a little wait to get in isn't such a bad thing.

Anyhow, after the wait in a line that was really long I made it to the front. Seems Saint Peter is not the only one with a book. My name was checked and I was lead to a room. In the room was a load of broken computers in various states of repair; and my punishment was to repair all these computers for eternity. How the hell did Satan know? No big issue it'll give me something to do to while away the time.

But the weird thing about Hell is that there was some form of 'Condemned Rights' because every eight hours the door unlocked and I was allowed to relax and wander around for 30 minutes; before returning to my room. I was never late so I can't say how strict they were on timing.

If the eternal damnation is repairing computers forever that is fine by me. And I'll be honest here and say that until I die I don't care what any book says something is like. For all I know the whole Bible could be a Public Relations stunt for the Catholic church. I've been on one or two vacations that did not live up to the description put forth by the brochure.

There is nothing to say Heaven is as good as it is made out; and likewise there is nothing to say Hell is all that bad. Nobody has ever come back and hit Angie's List to give a review of either place.

So if I am expected to believe a book that was written 2000 and some years ago I'd believe the commercials advertising Mexico without mentioning drug cartels the second you cross the border. I'm going to worry that Hell is a bad place because of a biased review some 2000 years ago? 2000 years is a long time; they may have improved things since then and just nobody has been able to come back and say "Hey Hell isn't so bad. I got a lovely suite. Only complaint I have is it is too hot outside; but hey my suite has air conditioning."

I'll wait until I die and see what happens. My own personal favorite idea for Heaven is a small little pub, with good tunes on the jukebox, and full of people from history that I want to talk to and ask questions. And that kind of ties in with my belief - If there is a Heaven and Hell I'll find out when I die; and if I died to get there then there is no point worrying through life of what it is like. Not like I can get to Hell and put a complaint in to my 'Travel Rep' that it doesn't live up to expectations.

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