Wednesday, 3 September 2014

If I Was God: Everyone Gets To Eat

You want to make people happy you feed them. You want to make everyone happy - feed everyone.

Simple. In fact it is so simple you have to wonder why God never fixed it.

Basically there are two options.
  • Option 1: Control the weather, the plants, and all the animals. Ensure that the three groups work in harmony to have a supply of food. And then make sure that it is distributed evenly around the world so that everyone is fed.
  • Option 2: Open a McDonalds, Taco Bell, Subway, and Chinese takeaway in every city, town, or village in the world. Ensure cheap prices everyone can afford and the problem is solved.
Admittedly option 1 is the healthier option for both mankind and the planet. So why does God allow starvation to happen?

Angel: Excuse me God, we need some rain in Africa so that crops can grow and people can eat.
God: Not today.
Angel: I know you have a master plan and all that but little kids are starving. One good day of rain will make a world of difference.
God: Yes I'm sure it would. But I just said not today.
Angel: I hate to question you seems the last one to do that got thrown down to Hades. But why can't you just make it rain?
God: I'm teaching mankind about humanity.
Angel: And while you do that it is OK for children to die?
God: Let me explain. If I give them everything they need they will have nothing to be thankful for.
Angel: That is all well and good but while they are learning to be thankful children are dying.
God: Not my fault.
Angel: Look. I know it is not my place to say, but it is your fault.
God: Listen here. There is enough food on the Earth to feed everyone. All that needs to be done is for that food to be evenly distributed around the world.
Angel: But it isn't being distributed evenly.
God: They will eventually. And if not then when I judge them all I will know who did nothing for their fellow man.
Angel: And who judges you?
God: (laughing) Nobody judges me.
Angel: So if I'm understanding this. You allow children to die to teach mankind a lesson and you do this without fear that someone may say you are wrong?
God: Now you are getting it. Do you think I am wrong?
Angel: Yes.
God: Oh dear.
Angel: I mean no. Please don't send me to Hades. I heard it is worse than Blackpool on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
God: I won't send you to Hades. Relax.
Angel: Thank you God.
God: I'm sending you to Amsterdam.
Angel: That is not too bad.
God: When you get there you will hate smoking, brownies, drinking, and sex.
Angel: Damn.
God: I think you'll find its called damned.

If I was God I'd make sure everyone had enough to eat. And if that meant Africa got a bit of rain every now and again then so be it.

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